The Thief

Hello One and All. 

I come here today to share a story, a story of loss and a dream of vengeance. 

Just the other day on a Tuesday afternoon much like many Tuesdays before something unspeakable happened. I was using the loo like any lady must throughout the day, and with me I had my lunchbox. Yes, I know that lunchboxes and bathrooms shouldn't go together but it was for this very fear that became my reality that I brought my box with me into the terrifying place called the women's restroom, hanging my steadfast and reliable lunchbox from the tiny little hook in the stall. It seems I was rather distracted while taking care of business and after wrapping up I walked out of there without a care in the world. 

I began walking home, that's when I noticed, my beloved lunchbox was nowhere to be found! Panicked I began to track down mentally everywhere my dear box could be, was it in a classroom, somehow in my backpack or was it just as I feared, left for dead in the bathroom stall!?! Now you may think to yourself, "what's the big deal, the bathroom can't be that bad". Well, let me assure you, you have no idea of the horrors I have seen in these restrooms, I once saw something floating in one of those toilets that looked like a bowel burrito, need I say more? My objective was clear, make my way back to school ASAP to conduct a rescue mission. Determined, I first began my search in the bathroom, my box was nowhere to be seen, I reassured myself I must have forgot it in the classroom, surely I wouldn't abandon it in such a rancid place. Alas, my trusty lunch companion did not await me in the classroom either. I checked the bathroom one more time out of desperation, the worst had become my reality, I could kiss my Pyrex containers and stale pretzels goodbye, they were someone else's now and what a cruel new owner they are indeed. 

Since that saddening Tuesday I realized in addition to snatching my lunchbox the criminal also abducted my super snazzy rain-blocker(umbrella) I received for Christmas. Now that really grinds my gears! Just this morning I fantasied of what I might say to the guilty sneak if I ever find them....

Me: "Oh hello there Madame, what a nice lunchbox, wherever did you find such a glorious bag?"

Theif: "I can't remember, Walmart maybe?"

Me: Thinks to self, ***WRONG!!*** "Hmmmmm, interesting, and you wouldn't happen to know where one could obtain a handy umbrella would you?"

Theif: "Idk, what's your deal lady?" 

Me "I'll tell you what my deal is..." (BOOM SUCKER PUNCH!) 

Justice would be served and my belongings would be back in place! Alright, perhaps this tale is a bit over the top for your liking but, this week has shown me something that I've always know deep down, I take my food rather seriously and my lunchbox is like my foods home. Dear Thief, you took away my foods home how could you!