Gal Darn Johnny Utah.

Oh boy, oh boy. 

Do I have a treat for you.

I know I was talking travel and Colorado adventures and more of that good stuff is to come, but first I have been inspired. Inspired to write youuuuu a lovely movie review. My thoughts must be expressed, ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you, my brain ideas on the remake of Point Break. 

Disclaimer: This will not be a nice review nor will it be a very serious review as I found my breaking point to be around the first 20 minutes into this grandeur film, and with that let us begin!

First off a note of anger: why must so many of the movies coming out of Hollywood today be remakes, sequels, ect. Have we run out of brilliant new ideas, must we return to the classics over and over again tearing apart their dignity? Remember Indy.... just think about that for a minute, let it sink in nice and deep to get the rage flowing. Such tragedy, such is life. Ok, enough with the dramatics here we go. 

This movie should be called Bro Break, Point Bro, Point Break: Ultra Bro Edition. There is some serious hipster bro action going down. All of the dudes have some crazy weird Macklemore haircuts and they look like they're lounging around for an Urban Outfitters ad. Then we have Johnny Utah, this guyyyyyy, oh goodness this guy. Good ole' Johnny used to be an extreme athlete but then his friend died doing some extreme stuntin' so Sir Utah decided he was no longer about "dat life" and went back to school for a suspiciously fast 6 years to become an FBI agent. So Utah is now an FBI agent and totally cracks this case involving extreme athletes who are doing dramatic daring crimes in daredevil crazy person fashion, so Utah is all like, let me become one with the bros, I totally got this. Then everyone at the FBI is like oh, ok, yeah man, you're a n00b at the FBI and everyone here has little faith in your plan, but sure, go bro out on our dime. 

Another note: I watched the original Point Break and really enjoyed it so I'm not a total hater... or maybe that is why I'm such a hater towards this remake, who knows. I mostly disliked the film because I found the storyline to be really unentertaining and boring, which seems impossible for a movie of such nature. The whole time I was watching this movie it just felt like they were trying really, really hard, instead of focusing on one sport for the criminals to be good at they did it all which kind of took away from the actual story of the original movie and a lot of the plot felt lost and jumbled around. It was like you knew these guys were supposed to be criminals but you didn't really know what they were doing wrong other than being extremely douchey. Anyways, the reason for this side note was to say that something I liked about the original movie is that even though Johnny Utah went undercover in the surfing world he still was shown doing a lot of regular FBI stuff and doing his damn job, in the new movie Utah runs off into hippieville and parties with rich dudes on boats all the time, get back to work you turd, I'm not paying for you to get crunk and enchant strange slow talking spaced out creeper ladies, GOSH!! 

Before Utah gets accepted into his newly found clan he pisses them right off! Some beef is ground right on up, right on up and turned into patties, but those patties aren't cooked right away and turned into delicious burgers, oh no, because these dudes got the beef for each other! Brody is the leader of the hipster criminal brigade and Utah is stepping in his turf, Brody invites Utah out one night where they meet in a dark alley and Brody beats the living daylights out of Utah. Even though Utah is a supposed trained FBI agent he somehow fails to dominate Brody which made little to no sense to me but whatever. After this little brawl Utah can be seen moping around (probably thinking about what a big nerd he is) when Brody approaches him and is all like, bro I know what your looking for come with me if you want to find it and VOOLAH just like that a magical friendship was born, never mind that some serious beatings were just rationed.

Tribal tattoos, bromance, so much hair gel, a dude with crazy eyes, boning a strange lady who can hold her breath for like 5 minutes in the ocean, this is what I remember before I reached my breaking point and I fell asleep, because that's what I do. 

In the films defense they did do some pretty ballin' stunts and showed some really cool nature, yay for trees! Also I did fall asleep so maybe the characters pulled their s*#% together and I just missed that magnificent moment, it shall forever remain a mystery because I never intend to watch the Point Break remake again. 

The End.